Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
