I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
