I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
