You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
