I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize