The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
