I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
