So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
