so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize