She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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