You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
