I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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