just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
