just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
