are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let's get the cat blown out
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
