I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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