I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
