I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
