My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
