I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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