Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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