they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
