If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
