Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The feeling are messing with the penis
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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