Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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