too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize