his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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