Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
