Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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