I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
