think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
