Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
