guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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