The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
