I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
