So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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