You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
