Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
