Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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