You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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