Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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