Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
