Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize