"it" just moved
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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