Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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