soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
