I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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