I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
