it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
