Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
