Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
