dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
