bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
