im having a threesome with these popsicles
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
