Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
