bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
