He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
