Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
