Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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