I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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