I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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