Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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