Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
