Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
