How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
