do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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