hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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